Takeaway
When patients or colleagues act in ways that frustrate us, pause before assuming negative intent. Practicing respectful curiosity can help us gain more insight into what people are experiencing.
Lifelong learning in clinical excellence | May 29, 2026 | 1 min read
By Eric Last, DO, Zucker School of Medicine & Department of Writing Studies, Hofstra University
It’s a day like many others. I’m behind schedule, which is a consequence of building strong relationships with patients—spending time to listen to their life stories as well as learning what their health goals are.
The calls pile up. The tasks accumulate. The frustrations of daily practice—prior authorizations, checkbox EMR’s—multiply.
I open the door to the next exam room, which in the construct I use to understand my day I see as the next chapter in a collection of short stories. Seated on the exam table is a patient I’ve known for years, and I stop in my tracks. Not by his visage of illness, but by his T-shirt, upon which are printed these words:
“Everyone Is Fighting
A Battle You
Know Nothing About.”
Three lines, nine words, incalculable wisdom. The usually affable staff member who’s suddenly angry or the patient who doesn’t take their medication, among countless other examples, is a reminder that everyone has their struggles.
If we substitute unfair judgment for curious compassion for the person in front of us, we lose the opportunity to truly help with things that matter.
How to practice respectful curiosity:
1. Ask open questions.
“What’s making this hard for you right now?” or “Help me understand what’s going on.”
2. Refrain from judging.
When a colleague snaps or a patient misses appointments, assume they’re struggling with something.
3. Name what you notice with kindness.
For example, “You seem stressed today. Is everything ok?”
Be curious about the secret battles being fought in our midst.
This piece expresses the views solely of the author. It does not necessarily represent the views of any organization, including Johns Hopkins Medicine.