Takeaway
My retirement from a career in medicine was more than just a change in routine—it also brought a loss of identity, purpose, and connection. Clinicians can support patients as they navigate this transition by naming the loss and checking on their well-being.
Lifelong learning in clinical excellence | July 29, 2026 | 2 min read
By Zeina Moukarzel, MD, MPH, MHA, Hôpital Libanais Geitaoui, Lebanon (retired)
For over 20 years, I was an anesthesiologist and critical care physician. My days were full, juggling between rounds, the operating room, the ICU, preoperative consultations, teaching, lectures . . . and daily human contact. I used to daydream about the quiet I’d have someday—a garden, a pool, mornings with nowhere to be.
On the Monday after my retirement dinner, the phone stopped ringing. By the second week, I found myself replaying challenging patient encounters in my mind, just to feel useful again. I drove past the hospital once, slowly, the way you might drive past a childhood home. I didn’t go in. I wasn’t sure I still belonged there, and that thought frightened me more than any code I’d ever responded to.
My children asked me one evening why I seemed so far away and I didn’t have a good answer. I’d lost a big part of my identity, the version of myself that people had needed and trusted. Without a pager, without a patient, without a team around me, I wasn’t sure who was left. In critical care, I was trained for every emergency except this one, the slow-motion emergency of feeling irrelevant.
Here are some things I found help that you can share with patients and colleagues who’ve recently retired, and try yourself:
1. Name and describe what you’re experiencing.
Describing how retirement feels to you—perhaps feeling a loss, not just an adjustment, may make it easier to talk about and easier for family and friends to understand.
2. If you’re struggling, find a door back in, even a small one.
Volunteering in a clinic or health organization allows you to work for something that matters.
3. Who have you talked to this week?
When talking with friends and colleagues who’ve recently retired I’ve started asking “Who have you talked to this week?” instead of “How’s retirement?” which sometimes elicits a superficial answer.
4. Rebuild structure.
The hospital gave me structure I never had to think about. Retirement doesn’t come with any. Build your own—for example, a standing coffee with former colleagues and/or a regular volunteering commitment.
This piece expresses the views solely of the author. It does not necessarily represent the views of any organization, including Johns Hopkins Medicine.