Takeaway
Grief is a powerful emotion that can bring discomfort in the patient-clinician relationship. By finding ways to normalize the pain of loss, clinicians can improve rapport and connection with those who are mourning the loss of a loved one.
Lifelong learning in clinical excellence | August 26, 2026 | 2 min read
By Jane Schindler, LCSW-C, ACHP-SW, Johns Hopkins Medicine
The profound grief felt after or before the death of someone can be one of life’s most challenging emotions. An expression of care and compassion to patients facing this can provide some relief. However, if you aren’t comfortable with the strong emotions associated with grieving you may feel uncertain how to best help the bereaved.
There’s no “right” way to grieve
There’s no “right” way to grieve. Many people believe that if they don’t go through the “stages” once ascribed in the bereavement literature, they’ve failed to properly grieve.
For many years, I’ve supported patients through their grief. Here are five things I’ve learned:
1. Allow patients to express sadness.
As a society we aren’t very comfortable with grief, and in our effort to help we may minimize a person’s pain rather than give them permission to express it. You can how genuine concern for patients by asking how they’re doing and simply saying that you’re sorry for the death of their loved one. Don’t suggest it’s been “long enough” since the death.
2. Listen to patients’ stories.
Part of processing grief is being able to tell the story, and patients may tell you the story of their loved one’s death more than once. Dr. J. William Worden wrote in his book “Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy” that one must experience the reality of death—telling and re-telling the story is one way a person experiences this reality.
3. Offer resources.
Encourage patients to seek support. Connecting them with a bereavement support group can help them feel less alone and normalize feelings. Additionally, individual therapy can be helpful in processing the pain. Have a list of support groups and therapists on hand, and connect them with your workplace’s social worker.
4. Consider grief-related symptoms.
Patients may come to you with a number of symptoms including headache, loss of appetite, weight loss, insomnia, fatigue, and/or difficulty concentrating. These may not be illness-related, but rather grief-related. Take this into account as you assess symptoms.
5. Screen for depression.
Grief can often look like depression, so it’s important to distinguish between the two and screen for the possibility of depression. Signs of depression include little enjoyment or pleasure in activities that once brought joy, a lack of hope for the future, feeling like a failure or worthless, and/or inability to get out of bed or go to work.
Over time, the bereaved will slowly come out of the darkness to find a different type of peace in their new reality. In the meantime, be kind, listen, and hand them a tissue.
This piece expresses the views solely of the author. It does not necessarily represent the views of any organization, including Johns Hopkins Medicine.