Takeaway
Witnessing suffering requires clinicians to intentionally practice self-care. One idea is to process challenging emotions by writing poetry.
Creative Arts in Medicine | March 18, 2025 | 1 min read
By Kathleen Wenaden, MBBS, London, England
“I wish for you”
Today I went to the beach
warm pebbles, a sea of contentment
You lost your mum; since before time I’d known her
a patient who asked for me, for help
to talk, a sick note, inhalers, love
I tried to give you all of these
but it was not enough
I wish I could bring you here also,
warm pebbles, a sea of contentment
I wish for you, childhood happy days
sand castles and cones, sand in your feet
a place to play
a mother who keeps you close
she does not look away
I wish I could bring you here
with her, with me
warm pebbles warm pebbles
warm
I wrote this poem in 2022, just as I went off for a three-month sabbatical. I was a GP in inner city London for over 20 years, and after working through the Covid-19 pandemic, felt completely worn out. Everything in my life felt out of balance. At that time, I also lost one of my patients. She was in her mid-40s and had an ongoing substance use disorder. I would see her when she came in for asthma inhaler prescriptions and treatment for chest infections. I was honored that she always requested to see me.
I always knew that I would lose her young, and in the summer of 2022, she died. I went to her funeral and was grateful to be able to give her daughter support.
It’s a privilege to accompany patients through their lives and through death, although sometimes it feels emotionally draining.
When I went to the beach later that summer, I realized how I longed to see her and her daughter as they could have been if their lives had been different. I think this poem highlights the longing clinicians have for their patients to be whole and well again.
This piece expresses the views solely of the author. It does not necessarily represent the views of any organization, including Johns Hopkins Medicine.