Suturing stories 

Medicine to me has always been about stories. Most of us went into this field to make people’s lives better, not to memorize all 27 bones of the hand or the steps of the coagulation pathway. I remember eagerly awaiting the third year of medical school when we would finally see and treat real patients. I found rote memorization difficult unless I could tie it to a face or a name.  Patient stories made medicine come to life. 

As a medical student, I had endless time to spend with patients to talk and learn about their lives. However, as I got busier as a surgical resident, the many stressors of the job precluded getting to know patients well. Some of my favorite memories were the rare afternoons I wasn’t in the OR or clinic and was able to slowly round and talk to patients and families. It was a luxury to be able to pull up a chair, sit at their bedside, and just talk. 

I frequently thought about writing these stories down and when I became an attending surgeon, this desire to write grew. Journaling has never really appealed to me, but narrative writing has become my version of journaling. Transforming my experiences as a doctor into written words helps me process my emotions in a therapeutic way. My first published piece as a surgeon, Free Solo Surgery, helped me process my feelings of anxiety and imposter syndrome as a new physician. When I struggled with the challenging interplay of medicine and religion in many of my patients, I shadowed an interfaith chaplain and wrote Finding Faith Through Listening. 

Crafting narrative essays has allowed me to share my experiences in medicine in a raw and vulnerable way in which others seem to connect. Many have reached out to tell me one of my essays made them feel less alone. No one has ever said anything like that about one of my research studies. I’ve created many new connections with others through my writing that I otherwise wouldn’t have made. These are the real human connections that keep me going when I am having a bad day.  

Writing has become my creative outlet outside of the OR, but I have been lucky to connect with doctors with many other creative passions outside of work. In the current challenging environment of medicine, it’s vitally important we highlight these passions that make us human. To that end I started a website called Scrubbed Out which features surgeons (current and aspiring) and their creativity outside the OR. 

This piece expresses the views solely of the author. It does not necessarily represent the views of any organization, including Johns Hopkins Medicine.