Takeaway
When patients ask for help with their parenting stressors, listen empathetically and encourage them to practice self-care, invest in allies, model vulnerability, share interests with their kids, and find personalized solutions to challenges.
Lifelong Learning in Clinical Excellence | July 29, 2025 | 2 min read
By Maureen Flood, NP, Johns Hopkins Medicine
Parenting stresses every parent at some point. Patients often ask their primary care providers for advice, reassurance, or simply need someone to listen. Whether or not you’re a parent yourself, you can support your patients, even during brief visits.
I told my husband while writing this article, “When our kids are born, we constantly worry that we’re doing everything wrong and will accidentally kill them.”
He joked in response, “And when they’re teenagers, they tell us we’re definitely doing everything wrong, and we worry we may kill them on purpose.” His comment highlights the high stakes and evolving nature of parenting challenges.
Parents may have questions about child development, teenage behavior, or healthy relationships with adult children. Some problems are significant, like substance abuse, while others may seem minor, such as disagreements about chores. Reassure them that seeking help demonstrates their commitment to being a good parent.
Parental stress can stem from child characteristics, parent characteristics, or situational/demographic life stress. By gently exploring these areas and listening empathetically, you may uncover the specific cause of the stress, which can empower the parent to generate their own solutions.
If they’d like advice, consider offering the following thoughts:
1. Prioritize your own care.
It’s normal for parents to put their needs behind those of their children. However, regularly dedicating time to your own needs allows you to fill your reserves and help others more effectively.
2. Don’t expect to be good at every stage of parenting.
Some folks are great with babies, while others are great with school-aged kids. Don’t sweat it if this stage feels difficult; it will change soon!
3. Prioritize adult relationships.
Parenting is a team sport. Whether it’s a partner, family, friends, or community, investing in strong relationships with your allies in parenting helps you weather the hardest moments. It’s ok to ask for support!
4. Be vulnerable with your kids.
You can tell your children that you’re struggling with some aspect of parenting, ask for their input, and find solutions that work for everyone.
5. Don’t resist, engage.
When parenting gets difficult, try engaging with their interests. Play some Minecraft, watch that movie they love, try their suggestions for new routines. When you participate with their favorite things, you’ll understand them better and might find that they are more willing to engage with your priorities.
6. If it feels bad, stop.
Sometimes, we think that “good” parenting looks like what our parents, siblings, or friends are doing or following expert advice. The truth is there’s no one-size-fits-all parenting. If something isn’t working for your family, it’s ok to stop doing it and to find a new way that’s a better fit.
Parents are responsible for preparing their children to be capable adults, protecting their well-being, supporting them to meet their goals, and nurturing their dreams. Mistakes are inevitable, but by practicing self-care, investing in allies, modeling vulnerability, showing interest, and finding personalized solutions to challenges, you can help your clients shift from stress to solutions even in the most difficult parenting moments.
Click here to learn more about the author.
This piece expresses the views solely of the author. It does not necessarily represent the views of any organization, including Johns Hopkins Medicine.