What’s something you’ve said to a patient that made them laugh?

Jessica Colburn, MD, Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine

My daughter collected silly jokes to share with her medical team when she was hospitalized for brain surgery at age 8. I will always be grateful to Dr. Keating, the attending neurosurgeon, who would remember to ask her for a joke every single morning after he and his team would round at her bedside.  That personal touch gave her something to look forward to on morning rounds, humanized the hospital experience, and left her with some positive memories from an otherwise terrifying time in her life.

Here’s one of her favorites, which also serves me well in geriatrics clinic:

What did zero say to eight?

Nice belt!

Panagis Galiatsatos, MD, Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine

I usually walk in and introduce myself, pronouncing my last name with a Greek tone. While they shake my hand in fear of trying to attempt that 5-syllable tongue twister, I then follow it up with, “But you can call me Dr. G if that’s easier since I have had years of practice in saying my last name.”

Guaranteed laughter every time!  :o)

Jeffrey Millstein, MD, Penn Medicine

You’re the healthiest sick person I know!

Colleen Christmas, MD, Johns Hopkins School of Medicine

I used to care for a very elderly woman, with grey, wispy hair, coke-bottle glasses, severe kyphosis, slow gait with a walker, dozen chronic med issues. I would end every visit by suddenly looking serious and remind her to always use condoms. EVERY TIME she laughed until we cried.

William Greenough, MD, Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine

What is needed in hot weather besides a cool place to get out of the heat?!

Leslie Ordal, CGC, University of Toronto

I once worked with a nonverbal kid who was learning to use a custom switch for communication using preprogrammed phrases. He had to learn timing, accuracy, and response to social cues. Knock-knock jokes were great because they require all of this, and they are also fun.

One day, to my surprise he and his aide had already programmed in a joke for ME.

“Knock knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“I made up,”

“I made up who?”

“YOU MADE A POO!”

I laughed so hard. Then after we were done, I got in my car and full on ugly cried, because his ability to tell me that joke showed mastery of all of the things were we working on, and he was so excited about it he had prepared beforehand. And he was in first grade, so it was age-appropriate humour. BEST POOP JOKE OF MY LIFE.

Mike Fingerhood, MD, Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine

I have said to patients when listening to their lungs, “When did you get this tattoo on your back?”  (There is no tattoo.)